Love is a Battlefield...

So it feels like I haven't' been posting here very often lately. I gave it some thought and I realized why that is the case. I seem to be caught in a bit of an endless loop of battles with Andrew & Jay. These little people with whom I share my home are under the impression that I want their feedback on every decision I make throughout the day. And I realized I don't like to post about the negative. I prefer to post pictures of how cute they are and how special they are to me. But, that's when I realized I don't post anything because there is not a lot in that pot right now.

Jay is fighting like the dickens to not nap anymore. So long as he's still in his crib, however, I think I will win this battle.

As for my battles with Andrew. Well, he is a fiesty foe. It seems we go toe to toe on every topic under the sun. And that we do so the entire time that we are in fact under the sun. From the minute we get up in the morning, we battle about breakfast, going potty, what we'll do today. And it just continues all day with little flare ups here and there until we are finally arguing about what I made for dinner, the need for a bath and the fact that it is bedtime.

I think this current cycle of behavior is normal. I'm not about to run out and read a bunch of self-help parenting books about 4 year-olds. Because really why would I spend any of my precious free time reading about what I'm living through. I really do think he is just testing limits and trying to find the boundaries for what is acceptable and what he can "get away with". And I realize that I must stay firm with our rules so that he can learn the boundaries and become a pleasant member of this household (community, society, blah blah blah). But, it is just so emotionally and physically draining to be this broken record.

Which brings me to the other battle...which I think may rage on through his teen years. He does not listen. I don't mean he disobeys. I mean he does not actively listen. And I got a glimpse of my future 16 year old. When I asked him to reapeat what I had just said. He said I can't. When I asked him why he wasn't listening. He said I didn't want to. At least he's still so very honest!

And since Jay is always striving to be just like Andrew, he is adopting a lot of the same body language and phrases that Andrew uses when he's upset. So, it feels like a I am battling Andrew and then a little Andrew at the same time!

On some of our harder days, I can't help but imagine what life might be like when they are older and don't need me as much as they currently do. And we won't have these specific battles. (I'm not so naive to think we won't still have arguments later.) Then, as a sign from the universe, from God, or whatever you choose to insert here, I will have a stranger tell me to enjoy this time because they grow up so fast.

So, I'm doing my best to enjoy this time. I'm doing my best to take it one day at a time. I'm doing my best to not look forward, not look back but just be in the present. Frankly put, I'm doing my best.